(December 21, 2000) They keep me here...locked up. One of them left a paper and a pen, and I'm writing. Oh, I know they're smart enough, they know they left it. Maybe the fuckers are hoping I'll write something they can use, something they don't know. But then again, they know everything, don't they? Rituals, green fire and screaming demons....I'm losing my mind. I know they've kept him from knowing I was alive....in that I can't blame him. But, why...why...he's...going on without me, he looks at other women, he touches them. I sit here night in and out, in this dungeon, trying to stay sane, trying to get stronger, listening to them laugh when I feel like I have to cry. And....while they laugh at me, he's touching another woman. He's building an army, he's..going on. Maybe I didn't matter...maybe he's just trying to cope....maybe I should have fucking died in that alley. I can't live like this......if I had a knife I'd cut the heart out of my chest. The screaming again...is it in my head, or is it all around me? I can't tell anymore. Here they come...it's time for them to do that ritualisic shit again..... Didn't you love me, Kai? He says you never loved me........ He says, he's showing me the "True Ronin"......